When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
