just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
