I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize