no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
