oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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