i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
