So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
