Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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