Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize