i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
