just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
