Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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