you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
