remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
