Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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