I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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