i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
