it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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