lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
PANTIES FOUND
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
