just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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