Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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