i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
