I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
being pregnant is like rehab
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
