it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
