just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
