All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
