i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
