I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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