smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
