Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We got so high we made milksteak
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
