So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
