I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
