so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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