Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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