if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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