Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Someone came in the potted fern
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
