I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
