she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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