new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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