I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
