She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
