We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
