We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
