I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
