Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
