you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
