i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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