My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize