..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
