She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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