i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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