I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
