question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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