I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
