Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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