Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
