I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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