Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
