I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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