oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
