got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
